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It is easy to get grief confused with a major depressive episode (MDE) and vise versa. Both include feelings of sadness, at times hopelessness, and a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life (dysphoria). So how do you really know the difference between both? Thankfully there are some clues to help you distinguish the […]
It is easy to get grief confused with a major depressive episode (MDE) and vise versa. Both include feelings of sadness, at times hopelessness, and a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life (dysphoria). So how do you really know the difference between both? Thankfully there are some clues to help you distinguish the two.
Let’s start with talking about grief. Grief is typically felt in response to loss which leaves a person feeling empty. Grief also typically will decrease in intensity over a couple of days to sometimes a number of weeks, but the idea is that is does in some way begin to lift. Grief is most commonly experienced in short waves which are also accompanied by a lot of memories of the deceased. During the “waves” of grief, there come specific thoughts or preoccupations but generally speaking the person’s self-worth is preserved. Grieving people also tend to occasionally have feelings of grief that can be followed by funny stories or pleasant reminders of the deceased that may make them feel moments of happiness. If there are any questions of the bereaved’s self-worth it is most likely in response to regrets, or feelings of failure, that are directly related to the loss (I should have donated an organ, I should have visited more often etc.). It is important to note that someone experiencing grief may have feelings of taking their own life, known as suicidal ideation, but that is typically in response to a desire to join the deceased or for the pain of the loss to end.
A Major Depressive Episode (MDE) on the other hand can be quite overwhelming for an individual that can last for weeks. The main characteristic of an MDE is that a person really cannot anticipate pleasure of good things along with a persistent depressed mood. There is an unrelenting feeling of misery and unhappiness. There can be suicidal ideation but this is typically in response to feelings of worthlessness, feeling undeserving of life, or the person may feel it is the only way to stop the feelings of depression. Significant changes in diet (too much or too little), sleep (again, too much or too little), changes in weight (5% or more in 4 weeks), becoming fidgety or slowed down, loss of energy, inability to concentrate are all also important markers of Major Depression. We all have some level of depression at times, but these symptoms must really impact your daily life (work, school, relationships etc.) in order to truly be considered a part of an MDE.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), in 2014 15.7 million Americans 18 years (or 6.7 %) were diagnosed with at least one MDE in the last year.
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Whether it is grief or depression, the good news is that you do not have to manage the difficult feelings alone. You may not feel like reaching out to talk with someone all the time, but do not isolate yourself. Even if you just have to ask a friend or family member to come sit on the couch while you cook dinner just to be in the house with you…. start there. Grief and depression both tempt us to isolate and hurt alone but suffering in silence really is not the solution. Know that if you are struggling with grief, your journey will be unique and be patient with yourself. If you are going through an MDE, remember that there is real help out there to support you through the darker days.
If you or someone you love needs to speak with a counseling professional, we are here to help.
If you would like to scheduled a session, feel free to contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co.
* IMPORTANT REMINDER: Please keep in mind as you read this article that this is NOT meant to be used as a diagnostic tool, but rather a simple checklist that includes common markers of both conditions. If you are experiencing symptoms, it is recommended you schedule an appointment with a professional that can provide an appropriate diagnosis.
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
Expect the unexpected And just like that, he was gone. We would’ve seen it coming had it been during one of the many emergency visits to the hospital or during one of the countless surgeries he had on his skull. But no, this was unexpected, making it all the more traumatic for a nine-year-old. I […]
And just like that, he was gone. We would’ve seen it coming had it been during one of the many emergency visits to the hospital or during one of the countless surgeries he had on his skull. But no, this was unexpected, making it all the more traumatic for a nine-year-old. I was that nine-year-old. And he was my brother, Nathaniel — born with numerous special needs and undiagnosed syndromes in 1997, who just four short years later left this earth on November 11, 2001 due to a cardiac arrest.
My parents, empathetic to a community who five years prior had been strangers, decided to turn their grief and loss into a triumph and victory to bring hope and help to other families who were like us: worn out and challenged with the assignment of caregiving for a special needs child. So it was then in 2002 that Nathaniel’s Hope, a nonprofit celebrating kids with special needs (our VIP kids), was born.
Over the past 14 years we’ve had over 11,000 kids register as part of our free national VIP Birthday Club. We’ve seen hundreds (if not thousands) of families benefit from our national respite program, Buddy Break, where we partner with churches around the U.S. to bring free practical assistance to VIP families for three hours each month, so that caregivers can get a much needed break. We’ve distributed toys and goodies to thousands upon thousands of kids (and adults) stuck in the hospital on Christmas day with our Caroling for Kids program, and allowed just as many VIP families to shop for free toys at Nathaniel’s Toy Shop at Christmastime. Finally, we’ve been Making ‘m Smile since 2002 when we launched our first Make ‘m Smile Festival at Lake Eola in Downtown Orlando. Now, in 2016, we have our 14th Annual Festival, which we deem the BIGGEST party celebrating kids with special needs, with an estimated 40,000+ in attendance.
WHAT? Does this sound like something that would come from death?
Not to me. But we are grateful — I am grateful — that God uses everything for good.
So, if you have a brother, sister, son, daughter, or client with special needs, Nathaniel’s Hope is a resource for you. Join us on Saturday, June 4, 2016 for Make ‘m Smile — all VIPs and their immediate families get in FREE! Or come as a Buddy and be a friend by participating in our Friendship Stroll. It’s so much fun and packed with entertainment —just like a theme park. In fact, many VIP kids say it’s better than Disney world!You’re officially invited. To learn more about, or to register for, Make ‘m Smile or any of our Nathaniel’s Hope programs and events, simply visit NathanielsHope.org.
Oh, and in case you were wondering…that nine-year-old? Though such an early childhood death took it’s toll on her own mental health, she’s now in her master’s program to become a licensed mental health counselor to help kids process through grief, loss and trauma similar to what she experienced.
Would these unexpected GOOD events have resulted without the unexpected BAD events?
Only God knows.
But with God, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected.
Nathaniel’s Story
Learn more about Nathaniel’s Hope, the heart of the program and
get to know the Kuck Family through this video (shown above).
Brianna Kuck is currently a graduate student at Palm Beach Atlantic University pursuing her Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling. She is currently the Event & Communications Coordinator at Nathaniel’s Hope. Through Teams Commissioned for Christ International she lives out her passion for missions by facilitating & participating in trips to Guatemala.