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The Benefits of Sunlight for Your Mood COVID-19 is keeping a lot of people in their homes, out of their regular routines and certainly out of the daylight. But how can this impact your mood? And most importantly, what can you do about it? The Importance of Sunlight There just may be something to the […]
COVID-19 is keeping a lot of people in their homes, out of their regular routines and certainly out of the daylight. But how can this impact your mood? And most importantly, what can you do about it?
The Importance of Sunlight
There just may be something to the saying of “on the bright side.” When we are in sunlight, our bodies receive an important mood-boosting hormone called serotonin. This important hormone can help us feel calm, safe and happy. It is actually the #1 factor that can boost our mood in our environment and it’s totally free! Serotonin is known to be classically low in those who suffer from both depression and anxiety. All that to say, sunlight can also help you stave off some pretty serious things like major depression with a seasonal pattern (previously known as seasonal affective depression, or SAD) and keep you optimistic!
As you can imagine, right now everyone is going through a lot of stress and can already be on the cusp of a high level of anxiety and depression. It is important to remember to be proactive. You don’t have to wait until you feel extreme feelings of depression or even anxiety before you begin taking appropriate and preventative care of your body, mind, and emotions.
What can we do about it?
The good news is that you are not stuck with low levels of serotonin which can lead to low mood! There are definitely some simple solutions you can begin using today. Check out a few ways to get more sunlight into your daily routine:
Well, I think that’s a good place fo us to start. Try changing just one thing about your day and see how it feels. Don’t think you have to completely change everything about your day to feel the positive impacts! It’s okay to start with just 5-10 minutes outside and slowly work your way up to what might feel right. You may be surprised at home much you actually enjoy it.
Contact us
If you or someone you know could use counseling, please contact our office at 407-630-7529. We would be happy to help you or a loved one find appropriate care when they need it most.
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
5 Tips to Work From Home Do you have to work from home now? If you do, you’re definitely not alone! Many people, including myself, have experienced shifts in their work-life due to the Coronavirus, affectionately known as COVID-19. I, along with many other mental health providers across the nation, are now providing therapy via […]
Do you have to work from home now?
If you do, you’re definitely not alone! Many people, including myself, have experienced shifts in their work-life due to the Coronavirus, affectionately known as COVID-19. I, along with many other mental health providers across the nation, are now providing therapy via telehealth online platforms. Industries have had to lay off thousands of workers or cut back hours. But if you are lucky enough and still have a job you’ve likely had to transition to working from home remotely in some capacity. While working from home sounds dreamy for some, for others it’s truly nightmare worthy! Needless to say, if you’re reading this article you (or someone you know) has had to work from home. So, let’s get to it! After all, that’s why you clicked the article, right?…
An Essential List of 5 Tips to Work From Home
1. Keep a regular schedule
This simple tip can truly pay dividends. Create a schedule for yourself that you can follow every day. Without you even realizing it, your job provides important rhythms, schedules, and routines that create a level of safety for you! Even if you hate your job, chances are you likely have to wake up, get dressed, go to work, eat lunch, work again, and then leave. Maybe once you get home you work out, make dinner, help the kids with homework, watch your Netflix… you get it. The idea here is that when we are missing those beats in our day it’s hard to stay motivated. So, as simple as it sounds, create a schedule for yourself. It can be as simple as creating three major goals for the day – maybe you can start there.
2. Get dressed like your going to work
There’s been a pretty phenomenal joke out there – “I declare 8 PM the official time to change from my AM pajamas to my PM pajamas” It’s funny because it’s relatable right now for so many people! Another funny theme of memes and jokes I’ve seen are the teleconferencing joke that people are dressing only from the chest up so maybe their clothes are mismatched (if they even chose to wear pants), they are wearing slippers, you get the drift. As funny as those seem, they can have an impact on how you feel during your day. Remember to continue to dress for the job you want (to keep in this case) and not the job you have at your disposal. This can help you maintain a healthy level of professionalism and keep you in a strong mindset. Plus, your pajamas will feel extra comfy when it’s time to binge on Netflix!
3. Work in a dedicated office space and avoid using your bedroom
Ideally, you create a space that motivates you, helps you feel prepared, and puts you into work mode. I have even heard of clients putting up office hours outside the door to help kids and other family members remember to respect that office space, room, or corner like that person is not really there – they truly are in their office working!
The reason why working in your bedroom is not worth it…
It’s the whole idea of classical conditioning here. Don’t associate your resting space with stress, fast-paced living, and racing thoughts about your tasks. It’s just not a good practice to get into. The Oxford dictionary defines classical conditioning as “a learning process that occurs when two stimuli are repeatedly paired: a response which is at first elicited by the second stimulus is eventually elicited by the first stimulus alone.” In other words, the more you pair your bed with hyperarousal (or a high level of energy), over time, the more likely you are to feel that same energy just by being in that same room even when you’re not working. It’s not worth it. Consider even working outside (weather permitting) on your porch, in your backyard, or by the pool. Get creative. Grab a TV tray, a folding chair, and find a great corner. Boom. There’s your makeshift office. But really, you get the idea.
4. Schedule regular breaks
Our day may feel long, boring, or demanding but chances are during your workday, you had to get up to ask a question, make a copy, answer a phone, or run an errand. Welcome to 2020 where our world has radically changed, and rapidly might I add, and now many of us are working from home! Those minor pesky tasks were helping you to take a break from staring at your screen and even provided a bit of social interaction you may not have at home now. It could be helpful to even set a timer every hour (or whatever amount of time you feel is good for you) to help you remember to check in to grab a snack, get some water, walk outside for a second, take a bathroom break, call a friend, grab a coffee, you name it! Just be sure to get up and move around for around 10 minutes or so. There are even some great little mini yoga videos you can find on YouTube for quick office yoga or a quick stretch.
5. Keep a positive attitude
Attitude is everything. Is the glass half empty or half full? When you focus on what you do not have, cannot control, or cannot solve, you are asking for a cocktail of negative emotions. Invite positive emotional experiences into your life as you keep your focus on what you do have, what you can control, what you can solve, and what you are thankful for. There are always going to be things we can remain grateful for even in the toughest of times. Consider keeping a gratitude journal each night. Maybe you’d like to post photos in your office space of people, places things, sayings, or other triggers for positive emotions. Where your thoughts wander your feelings and behaviors will follow – that is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 101!
Well, thanks for joining me for a few tips on how to stay sane during this season.
Contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co if you would like to schedule a session or need help managing your stress and anxiety!
Additional Helpful resources
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery, trauma recovery, relationship issues, eating disorders, and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
Have you ever heard of voo breathing? Neither had I. I’m a huge fan of Peter Levine’s work and eventually stumbled across his “voo breathing” exercise in one of his audiobooks. It’s pretty fascinating. The idea is that we do some deep belly breathing, we focus our attention on the our breath and in a […]
Neither had I. I’m a huge fan of Peter Levine’s work and eventually stumbled across his “voo breathing” exercise in one of his audiobooks. It’s pretty fascinating. The idea is that we do some deep belly breathing, we focus our attention on the our breath and in a deep fog horn voice exhale with the word, “voooooo”. It feels slightly strange at first but I promise it is an effective way to induce feelings of calm. This can be extremely helpful for trauma survivors who have a hard time feeling relaxed and calm; especially after triggers or reminders of their trauma. So why does this “voo breathing” work? Let me explain the science behind it all!… My favorite part 
Breathing is one of the most fascinating trauma recovery resources we have at the tip of our tongue… literally! When we take a slow breath in through our nose and exhale out through our mouths we are stimulating both the sympathetic (fight and flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest) nervous systems. This is important for trauma survivors because they can frequently feel “on edge” or in a constant state of sympathetic hyperarousal (expecting something bad to happen). So breathing can give your brain and body a much needed break.
Well, Peter Levine was gracious enough to think of a way to stimulate our “rest and digest”, parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), even further! He shares quiet eloquently about the PNS being stimulated by activating the vagal nerve in his book “In and Unspoken Voice” that deals with trauma being stuck in the body. Long story short stimulating the vagus nerve is another amazing way to induce feelings of calm & really activate the PNS. So boom! Breathing in and out while stimulating the vagus nerve creates a beautiful recipe for feelings of calm.
Let’s go through how to mix breathing while stimulating the vagus nerve step by step…
Get seated.
Find a place to sit where you can rest. Place your feet on the floor and rest comfortably in your chair. Close your eyes if you feel safe, or if you choose to keep your eyes open, keep a low fixed gaze.
Notice your breath.
Begin to settle into your breath. Just notice each breath cycle as it comes in and out. Just notice. Don’t change anything.
Take a deep breath IN.
Now, begin to allow yourself to take a deep slow breath in through your nose and fill your belly with air. Side note: Be sure you are truly breathing into your belly and not your chest. You will know you are belly breathing if you breathe in and your shoulders don’t keep moving up and down while you breathe.
Breath out with “VOO.”
On the out breath, allow yourself to make a deep fog horn sound with the word “voo”, for three counts (or as long as you can comfortably exhale, the longer the better). Allow the sound to vibrate and resonate in your chest, arms, and even legs. Feel and enjoy the deep vibrations the “voo” sound provides.
Repeat the breath cycles.
Continue cycles for 3-5 minutes or as long as you are enjoying the breath cycles. We know that 3-5 minutes of breathing can actually change your oxygen levels in your blood and begin to stimulate positive changes in your neurochemistry!
Bring your focus back to the room.
Begin to bring awareness to your body, maybe twisting your wrists or ankles. When you are ready open your eyes and return to the room.
How do you feel now? Good stuff, right? I always tell clients to make sure they are learning a new coping skill before they really need them. Just like we learn to swim when we are calm and not drowning, it is important to learn new coping skills while you are calm and not panicking.
Well, that’s all I have for now. If you would like to scheduled a session to learn additional trauma coping skills, feel free to contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co.
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
If you are a “helper” in any profession (i.e. counselor, pastor, medical provider etc.) you may have heard of the term “compassion fatigue.” The Oxford Dictionary defines this as the “indifference to charitable appeals on behalf of suffering people, experienced as a result of the frequency or number of such appeals.” In other words, you have a lot […]
If you are a “helper” in any profession (i.e. counselor, pastor, medical provider etc.) you may have heard of the term “compassion fatigue.” The Oxford Dictionary defines this as the “indifference to charitable appeals on behalf of suffering people, experienced as a result of the frequency or number of such appeals.” In other words, you have a lot of needs that hit you at once and that happens often. Sound familiar? Well, in order to continue to enjoying your work and ignite your compassion flame you have to take care of yourself!
Here are a few tried and true ways to avoid compassion fatigue:
1. Leave work at work.
This is a huge area of struggle for helpers! We are empathetic, right? We love to help people and their stories are impactful. Be careful how much mind space you give to the things of work while you are trying to enjoy your family at home, your dinner, or even your morning/nightly routines. It’s very tempting to check emails and respond immediately even when you are on the couch watching Netflix – don’t do it. Leave work at work. You will thank me for this and so will your family!
2. Create professional boundaries.
If you say you are leaving at 5, then leave at 5. If you have lunch scheduled but then someone needs “crisis counseling” it’s okay to say you need to eat your lunch! If someone walks into your office and wants to have a talk at a horrible time, it’s okay to say “Oh wow, sounds like that would be a great conversation. Let’s plan to meet about that on (insert date/time).” The occasional wavering from your professional boundaries is fine. As a compassionate helper we all know it is our greatest temptation to continue helping at the cost of our schedules, but if you do that too often, you’re likely to burn out! Keep to your professional boundaries as closely as possible. This could also mean saying no to additional projects, conversations and activities. It is OK to walk away and not take on the entire office load of problems
3. Enjoy LOADS of self-care.
When is the last time you took time to just care for yourself? It could be in the form of a massage, a walk in a quiet park or a really fun night of video games. Self-care will really look different for each person. For ideas on how to increase your self-care, check out my article on “10 Ways to increase self-care”.
4. Create an enjoyable work environment.
This is one of my favorite things! I just adore having a nice office. I like to change out my flowers, pictures, bookshelf accessories, drink coasters and use cute file folders! I enjoy playing music in between clients and burning a little spearmint essential oil to lift myself up. You are constantly giving parts of yourself away throughout the day and creating an environment you enjoy is one way you can provide a little nourishment for yourself. If you work in a large office with a lot of people coming in and out, maybe it’s something as simple as a favorite pen, single fresh flower, a mini frame, or some aromatherapy lotion in your purse. Keep things on hand that can give back to you throughout your work hours.
5. Enjoy non-work hobbies & community events.
Hobbies can in some ways fall into self-care, but they are different in that they can include even a community in which you can get involved. For instance, if you are an artist, go out and enjoy an art class or art show. If you enjoy singing, join a local choir. If you play basketball, find some people to play with in a local league. You get the idea. The point is that you don’t just see your family and coworkers. You are starting to enjoy the company of people who don’t just want to talk about family issues or work problems. A common community that can be a great resource are churches or local spiritual groups. Get creative with this one. For some of your seasoned helpers, this might take some time to think about, but I am sure you think of something new and novel you would enjoy. And… * IF you say you have no time for this… YOU NEED THIS! Ironic isn’t it? If you have too much on your plate that you cannot even enjoy an occasional gathering on a topic you love, reevaluate your schedule.
Here’s a little sneak peak of how
I prevent compassion fatigue in my office!…
We would love to work with you! If you would like to scheduled a session, feel free to contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co.
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
According to the American Psychological Association about 40-50% of first time marriages in the United States end in divorce, with the divorce rate increasing in subsequent marriages. With divorce rates so high, it is likely that you or someone you know has been impacted by a divorce. Divorces can get messy when it involves just adults, but it can […]
According to the American Psychological Association about 40-50% of first time marriages in the United States end in divorce, with the divorce rate increasing in subsequent marriages. With divorce rates so high, it is likely that you or someone you know has been impacted by a divorce. Divorces can get messy when it involves just adults, but it can get even more confusing when kids and teens are involved. Not only are you managing your own feelings, you now have the reality that your adult decision is now inevitably going to impact your child’s life in some way. Each divorce and family is unique and so of course needs will vary, but here are three simple and basic principles from Krista Smith’s divorce for teens group curriculum, “The Big D“, that I love and teach all the families I work with. Here are three basic things to avoid during a divorce involving children:
1. Do not use your child as a messenger.
Ex: “Tell your mom/dad…”
2. Do not use your child as a spy or detective for information.
Ex: “Tell me about your mom/dad’s new house, friend etc.”
3. Do not us your child as a dumping station.
Ex: “If you only knew what your mom/dad did to me…”
1. Do not use your child as a messenger.
I know, you probably do not want to talk to your ex-spouse if at all possible. There were probably communication issues that lead to the divorce in the first place, right? So, it can be tempting to use your child to buffer the fact that you still have life decisions to make together. Don’t do it. Remind your child that divorce is an adult problem and requires adult solutions. Making your a child a messenger can really make them feel responsible for the information and discussions that should not involve them. Even if the information does involve them, it can be comforting to a child to know that you are your ex-spouse are on the same page. This can also help curtail any triangulation (but MOM said I could… ) that your child may be doing. This change may take some practice if you’ve already used your child as a messenger. Next time a situation comes up tell your child, “I will talk with Dad about that.”
2. Do not use your child as a spy or detective for information.
It is tempting to ask your child about your ex-spouse, especially if he or she is not very open with you. But again, remember that asking your child about information regarding the life and choices of your ex-spouse can really create a lot of stress for your little one. It is not a good idea to ask a lot of specific questions. If you are dying for information, you can ask open ended questions like “What did you do this weekend with your mom?” Rather than, “Was Bryan with her this weekend?” Your children pick up on a lot more subtext than we give them credit. They may not know why it doesn’t feel right, but trust me, they can tell that there’s something else behind all your specific questions. So remember, don’t try to get the inside scoop on finances, “new friends”, schedules, jobs, plans etc. from the child. As an adult in this situation you need to speak directly to the other adult about this information, not your kiddo.
3. Do not use your child as a dumping station.
Your child is not supposed to be your main source of support, best friend, or primary confidant. It’s tempting to begin asking your child to side with you, but it does put them at a major disadvantage in experiencing positive feelings about the other parent. Your child should be able to experience love for both parents as he or she feels comfortable; don’t get in the way of this development (even if you think your spouse is a snake!). Chances are, if you refuse to speak ill of your ex-spouse your child will be able to sort out the let downs on their own. But let your child come to these realizations. Your main function is unbiased support for your child not necessarily your ex-spouse, so don’t taint the support with confusing messages.
Remember, your child CAN remain happy and well adjusted after a divorce.
These sorts of things can increase the child’s feelings of responsibility OR make the child feel as though a choice must be made between the parents. Remember, it is not the divorce that creates life difficulties for the child in and of itself. It is the way the divorce is handled that can cause long-term negative impacts. It is possible for you and your family to undergo these transitions without severe negative impacts on your children’s emotional health.
If you or someone you know has kids and teens in need of support during a parents divorce we are here to help. If you would like to scheduled a session, feel free to contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co.
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
It is easy to get grief confused with a major depressive episode (MDE) and vise versa. Both include feelings of sadness, at times hopelessness, and a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life (dysphoria). So how do you really know the difference between both? Thankfully there are some clues to help you distinguish the […]
It is easy to get grief confused with a major depressive episode (MDE) and vise versa. Both include feelings of sadness, at times hopelessness, and a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life (dysphoria). So how do you really know the difference between both? Thankfully there are some clues to help you distinguish the two.
Let’s start with talking about grief. Grief is typically felt in response to loss which leaves a person feeling empty. Grief also typically will decrease in intensity over a couple of days to sometimes a number of weeks, but the idea is that is does in some way begin to lift. Grief is most commonly experienced in short waves which are also accompanied by a lot of memories of the deceased. During the “waves” of grief, there come specific thoughts or preoccupations but generally speaking the person’s self-worth is preserved. Grieving people also tend to occasionally have feelings of grief that can be followed by funny stories or pleasant reminders of the deceased that may make them feel moments of happiness. If there are any questions of the bereaved’s self-worth it is most likely in response to regrets, or feelings of failure, that are directly related to the loss (I should have donated an organ, I should have visited more often etc.). It is important to note that someone experiencing grief may have feelings of taking their own life, known as suicidal ideation, but that is typically in response to a desire to join the deceased or for the pain of the loss to end.
A Major Depressive Episode (MDE) on the other hand can be quite overwhelming for an individual that can last for weeks. The main characteristic of an MDE is that a person really cannot anticipate pleasure of good things along with a persistent depressed mood. There is an unrelenting feeling of misery and unhappiness. There can be suicidal ideation but this is typically in response to feelings of worthlessness, feeling undeserving of life, or the person may feel it is the only way to stop the feelings of depression. Significant changes in diet (too much or too little), sleep (again, too much or too little), changes in weight (5% or more in 4 weeks), becoming fidgety or slowed down, loss of energy, inability to concentrate are all also important markers of Major Depression. We all have some level of depression at times, but these symptoms must really impact your daily life (work, school, relationships etc.) in order to truly be considered a part of an MDE.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), in 2014 15.7 million Americans 18 years (or 6.7 %) were diagnosed with at least one MDE in the last year.
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Whether it is grief or depression, the good news is that you do not have to manage the difficult feelings alone. You may not feel like reaching out to talk with someone all the time, but do not isolate yourself. Even if you just have to ask a friend or family member to come sit on the couch while you cook dinner just to be in the house with you…. start there. Grief and depression both tempt us to isolate and hurt alone but suffering in silence really is not the solution. Know that if you are struggling with grief, your journey will be unique and be patient with yourself. If you are going through an MDE, remember that there is real help out there to support you through the darker days.
If you or someone you love needs to speak with a counseling professional, we are here to help.
If you would like to scheduled a session, feel free to contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co.
* IMPORTANT REMINDER: Please keep in mind as you read this article that this is NOT meant to be used as a diagnostic tool, but rather a simple checklist that includes common markers of both conditions. If you are experiencing symptoms, it is recommended you schedule an appointment with a professional that can provide an appropriate diagnosis.
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
Anxiety is something I handle with clients on a regular basis. It can be something I handle as an issue of its own or something that can be a symptom of another problem in a person’s life. The bottom line is that anxiety can really rob a person of daily peace. Sometimes I call a […]
Anxiety is something I handle with clients on a regular basis. It can be something I handle as an issue of its own or something that can be a symptom of another problem in a person’s life. The bottom line is that anxiety can really rob a person of daily peace. Sometimes I call a symptom of anxiety “bully thoughts” which is when there can be excessive worry about what could go wrong, extreme needs for perfection, and unrealistic catastrophizing (believing that the worst is going to happen) etc. So, what do you do about it?
Well, there can be a lot of unique solutions but one technique to help manage your excessive worry is what I call the worry box. This is something you can try if you feel like you need a technique to help you:
Allow yourself to worry on purpose for 15 minutes each day
Set a specific time and use a timer
Worry about anything and everything!
Tell yourself during that time all things go…
Rehearse the worst case scenarios.
This is a time when you can allow yourself to purposefully think about the worst possible case scenarios in your mind
Let your thoughts run wild!
Get creative in your processing.
You can journal, pace or just think but worry on purpose. Some people like to draw the worst case scenarios.
Use this space as a sort of BOX for your worry!
This can be a buffer during the day. Remind yourself will have time to worry about everything tonight, in an hour, in the morning etc.
Believe it or not this works for many clients! It can be a helpful way to help manage this issue rather than the issue managing you. You can have control over your thoughts. You don’t have to live with your anxiety forever. Whether there are solutions through medications to cure chemical imbalances or relaxation techniques to help you manage stress healing is possible.
If you would like to scheduled a session, feel free to contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co.
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
What is self-care? Self-care has become somewhat of a buzz word in popular psychology. In a world filled with on-the-go professionals and families, people are finding it hard to slow down and, well, care for self. But what exactly is self-care? Simply put, it is the ability for a person to provide a measure of nurturing for […]
Self-care has become somewhat of a buzz word in popular psychology. In a world filled with on-the-go professionals and families, people are finding it hard to slow down and, well, care for self. But what exactly is self-care? Simply put, it is the ability for a person to provide a measure of nurturing for him or herself.
Self-care has become increasingly important as our society demands more of us everyday. At its best, it is used as a preventative measure that increases our capacity for handling stress so we have fewer emotional breakdowns. But self-care can also serve as a protective measure once we’ve hit rock bottom. It can be a great way to lift ourselves up after we feel destroyed.
Self-care should increase you ability to feel calm, centered and connected to the joy that lies dormant within you. As you can imagine it may look different for everyone. I would never consider golfing as self-care since it actually causes anxiety for me. However, a sports enthusiast may find it’s a great way to detox from a day in a stress-filled corporate life. I love painting my nails while watching a romantic comedy but that is far from likely going to be the choice of my husband. You get the point.
Questions to clarify what it is for you…
So here are some questions to help guide you in your pursuit:
– What brings you to life?
– What activities make you want to smile?
– What makes you want to take a relaxing deep breath when you think about it?
– What scenes or locations do you find yourself longing for?
– What is a great hobby?
– How can you care for you body?
– How can you care for your mind?
– How can you care for your spirit?
These are just a few guiding questions. If you’re having a hard time thinking about what you could do for self-care consider talking with a friend or family member. Sometimes an outside perspective can really help enlighten us! Here is also a list of common things people may like to do:
1. Breathe
2. Take a bath
3. Self-massage
4. Take a walk in nature (no phones)
5. Listen to guided imagery
6. Journal
7. Pray
8. Coffee with a friend
9. Sit in silence to enjoy a mindful moment
10. Get a good night’s rest
Consider ways you would like to “take yourself out on a date” and enjoy your own company. If you are struggling with a consistently high level of stress, feel like you may need to recover from a haunting past trauma or just need a safe place to talk, there is help. Contact a counseling professional to help walk you through this season.
We would love to work with you! If you would like to scheduled a session, feel free to contact Flourish Counseling Co. at 407-630-7529 or schedule immediately with us online at www.flourishcounseling.co.
80+ Self-Care Activities from the Self-compassion Project
About the Author
Cristina Ally, LMHC, is the owner of Flourish Counseling Co. in Winter Park, Florida. She specializes in women’s issues, sexual abuse recovery and diabetic lifestyle adjustment. She has helped countless individuals and families reach optimal mental and emotional health by providing counseling and trauma resolution in the Orlando area since 2015. She is currently the President of the Mental Health Counselors of Central Florida and is a passionate advocate for mental health.
Expect the unexpected And just like that, he was gone. We would’ve seen it coming had it been during one of the many emergency visits to the hospital or during one of the countless surgeries he had on his skull. But no, this was unexpected, making it all the more traumatic for a nine-year-old. I […]
And just like that, he was gone. We would’ve seen it coming had it been during one of the many emergency visits to the hospital or during one of the countless surgeries he had on his skull. But no, this was unexpected, making it all the more traumatic for a nine-year-old. I was that nine-year-old. And he was my brother, Nathaniel — born with numerous special needs and undiagnosed syndromes in 1997, who just four short years later left this earth on November 11, 2001 due to a cardiac arrest.
My parents, empathetic to a community who five years prior had been strangers, decided to turn their grief and loss into a triumph and victory to bring hope and help to other families who were like us: worn out and challenged with the assignment of caregiving for a special needs child. So it was then in 2002 that Nathaniel’s Hope, a nonprofit celebrating kids with special needs (our VIP kids), was born.
Over the past 14 years we’ve had over 11,000 kids register as part of our free national VIP Birthday Club. We’ve seen hundreds (if not thousands) of families benefit from our national respite program, Buddy Break, where we partner with churches around the U.S. to bring free practical assistance to VIP families for three hours each month, so that caregivers can get a much needed break. We’ve distributed toys and goodies to thousands upon thousands of kids (and adults) stuck in the hospital on Christmas day with our Caroling for Kids program, and allowed just as many VIP families to shop for free toys at Nathaniel’s Toy Shop at Christmastime. Finally, we’ve been Making ‘m Smile since 2002 when we launched our first Make ‘m Smile Festival at Lake Eola in Downtown Orlando. Now, in 2016, we have our 14th Annual Festival, which we deem the BIGGEST party celebrating kids with special needs, with an estimated 40,000+ in attendance.
WHAT? Does this sound like something that would come from death?
Not to me. But we are grateful — I am grateful — that God uses everything for good.
So, if you have a brother, sister, son, daughter, or client with special needs, Nathaniel’s Hope is a resource for you. Join us on Saturday, June 4, 2016 for Make ‘m Smile — all VIPs and their immediate families get in FREE! Or come as a Buddy and be a friend by participating in our Friendship Stroll. It’s so much fun and packed with entertainment —just like a theme park. In fact, many VIP kids say it’s better than Disney world!You’re officially invited. To learn more about, or to register for, Make ‘m Smile or any of our Nathaniel’s Hope programs and events, simply visit NathanielsHope.org.
Oh, and in case you were wondering…that nine-year-old? Though such an early childhood death took it’s toll on her own mental health, she’s now in her master’s program to become a licensed mental health counselor to help kids process through grief, loss and trauma similar to what she experienced.
Would these unexpected GOOD events have resulted without the unexpected BAD events?
Only God knows.
But with God, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected.
Nathaniel’s Story
Learn more about Nathaniel’s Hope, the heart of the program and
get to know the Kuck Family through this video (shown above).
Brianna Kuck is currently a graduate student at Palm Beach Atlantic University pursuing her Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling. She is currently the Event & Communications Coordinator at Nathaniel’s Hope. Through Teams Commissioned for Christ International she lives out her passion for missions by facilitating & participating in trips to Guatemala.
One in three girls… and one in six boys… will be sexually abused before they are eighteen. I live in a well- established Orlando neighborhood; 717 registered sex offenders – many of them predators – live within five miles from my home. I scrolled through page after page of the 717 offenders, looking at the faces and asking myself “would I […]
One in three girls… and one in six boys… will be sexually abused before they are eighteen. I live in a well- established Orlando neighborhood; 717 registered sex offenders – many of them predators – live within five miles from my home. I scrolled through page after page of the 717 offenders, looking at the faces and asking myself “would I have thought that person was a sexual offender?” Of course, some of the faces looked like someone I would be leery of, but many of them would have fooled me based on looks alone. Some of the faces looked like nice young guys, some looked like businessmen and a few looked like the women I have spoken to in line at a grocery store. The point is, you can’t tell who is out to sexually abuse the children in your church just by looking at them or talking to them. The sexual abuser may look like a nicely wrapped gift from God to help in your children or youth ministry…but in reality, he is a Trojan horse sent from the enemy. The good news is churches and other youth organizations can do something to protect the children in their care! A 5 Step Screening Program can help protect your organization.
1. Six Month Rule
Require all employees and volunteers to attend regularly for at least six months in order to apply for positions that have access to minors. A predator will not want to stick around a church for an extended period of time waiting to get access to children, especially when he can go elsewhere and have almost immediate access. Do not give volunteers who are new and unknown immediate access to children.
2. Written Application
Requiring a written application for church volunteers serves the same role as it does for paid employees. The goal is to document the selection process and to be able to demonstrate that the church met the test of reasonable care. A church can be just as liable for the negligent selection of a volunteer as it can be for a paid employee.
3. Background Check
A criminal records check and Florida Department of Law. Enforcement Sexual Predator check should be REQUIRED for all volunteers who will have access to minors. Obtain a signed Consent to Background Check from the applicant first. Background checks should also be obtained for individuals who have unsupervised access to children and youth.
4. Reference Check
The volunteer should list two or more other church members as references, plus any other references that may be available from other forms of service. It is not sufficient to list only parents of children with whom the prospective volunteer may work. Predators may work at grooming the parents of potential victims. The reference list should also include other adults. These people should be contacted for input concerning the volunteer’s qualifications for working with children or youth.
5. Personal Interview
This is the last opportunity for you to find the wolf in sheep’s clothing! Only 15% of sexual offenders are arrested so the other 85% won’t have a criminal record. Dig deep to find out the person’s real motivation to work with children and as much as you can about their background.
Start protecting the children, the workers and your ministry today by implementing a 5 Step Screening Process. Closson Insurance Agency, has over sixty years experience insuring churches and schools. We’ve developed a complete program to help you protect the children in your care – a procedure manual, a training workbook, a training workshop and announcement flyers.
About the Author
Lenise Zika is the owner of Closson Insurance Agency and has over 30 years experience as a property and casualty insurance agent. The wealth of knowledge of the agency staff lead to the agency brand: Knowledge and Experience – It Matters. Recognizing the increase of sexual abuse of children within churches and schools, Closson Insurance Agency wrote a comprehensive, step-by-step Child Protection Procedure Manual and training program for churches. The agency team is passionate about protecting kids from sexual abuse. They give back to the community by conducting CHILD PROTECTION WORKSHOPS to teach churches, schools and youth organizations how to protect kids.