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During this time of year, radio and TV ads would have us believe we should all feel merry and bright. Sadly, that’s not always the case. According to the National Institute of Health, many people experience depression during the holiday season. Some of the most common reasons people experience depression during this time of year are: Financial hardship – […]
During this time of year, radio and TV ads would have us believe we should all feel merry and bright. Sadly, that’s not always the case. According to the National Institute of Health, many people experience depression during the holiday season.
Some of the most common reasons people experience depression during this time of year are:
If you can relate and are looking for some relief, here are ways you can cope with your depression this holiday season:
Feel Your Feelings
If you are grieving a loss, it’s important that you’re honest about your feelings. Your instinct may be to put on a brave face for friends and family, but forcing yourself to be happy for the sake of others will only make matters worse. Sadness and grief are a part of life, no matter the season, and it is 100% okay for you to feel your feelings.
Give Something Besides Money
If a lack of finances is the primary source of your mood, look for other ways you can give to others. You can volunteer at a local charity. Are you a good cook? Offer to cook for friends and family. If your talent is writing, write your kids a bedtime story or, if it’s painting, paint a beautiful mural on their wall. At the end of the day, thoughtful gifts from your heart will leave the greatest lasting impression.
Focus on Self Care
It’s important that you care for yourself during the holiday season. Eat right, drink filtered water, exercise, and get plenty of rest. While these steps are important for everyone throughout the entire year, they are particularly important for those suffering from depression during the holidays.
Seek Help
Depression is nothing to take lightly. If your depression has lingered, is getting worse, or you’re having suicidal thoughts, it’s imperative that you seek help from a qualified mental health professional. They will be able to help you navigate your overwhelming emotions and offer tools to manage symptoms.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. You don’t have to suffer alone. I would be more than happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
It may be difficult to face or admit, but it’s a feeling many of us have experienced: sadness after sex. Even if the sex was great and satisfying, the feeling of sadness or depression after sex is more common than you might believe. According to a 2015 study done on Postcoital Dysphoria, 46% of women […]
It may be difficult to face or admit, but it’s a feeling many of us have experienced: sadness after sex. Even if the sex was great and satisfying, the feeling of sadness or depression after sex is more common than you might believe. According to a 2015 study done on Postcoital Dysphoria, 46% of women respondents reported feelings of sadness after sex.
While there are numerous factors that can contribute to a feeling of sadness after sex, there are some that are more frequently experienced than others.
Postcoital Dysphoria
Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD) or “post-sex blues” is the experience of a negative feeling after sex which can consist of tearfulness, melancholy or depression, anxiety, agitation, or aggression. PCD is a normal, biological condition that can be experienced by both men and women. If you sometimes feel sadness after sex, the reason may be biological.
Lack of Connection with Your Partner
A feeling of sadness after sex can also be because you lack a deep emotional connection to your partner. While some people can shut down the emotional side of sex, and are able to have casual sex or a “one-night stand”, some people are not. If you need a meaningful emotional connection in order to be happy with your sexual experiences, there’s nothing wrong with you. Be honest with yourself and assess if you’re able to view sex as a fun, feel-good activity, or if you need a deeper connection. It’s more hurtful to yourself in the long run if you try to force casual encounters when you’re unable to truly enjoy them.
PTSD
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can develop in people who’ve experienced or witnessed a traumatic or life-threatening event. If you suffered a violent or sexual assault, even if you feel you’ve recovered from that event, the source of your post-sex blues could be PTSD. Memories of the assault might come to mind during sex, triggering you to re-experience that traumatic event.
Your Upbringing
A strict religious upbringing, or being raised in a home where you were made to feel ashamed about your sexuality can also be the cause of a melancholy feeling after sex. It’s not uncommon for people with a strict religious upbringing to feel panic, anxiety or depression after sex, with their issues deeply rooted in associating sex and sexuality with shame.
There are many factors that can contribute to a sad feeling after sex. A bad relationship, self-esteem issues, regret in your choice of partner, drug and/or alcohol abuse, to name a few, can all be possible factors in feelings of sadness after sex. The right therapist can work with you to determine what’s causing your upset, and help you find ways to combat the sadness and deal with the source of the problem.
If you’re struggling with this issue and need support and guidance, I can help. Call my office today and let’s schedule a time to talk.
Over the past several years, there have been numerous traumatic events all across the country. From incidents of mass violence to devastating natural disasters, hundreds of thousands of Americans have experienced or witnessed a disastrous or life-threatening event. In addition to tragedies such as these, anyone who has experienced a shocking or dangerous incident (such […]
Over the past several years, there have been numerous traumatic events all across the country. From incidents of mass violence to devastating natural disasters, hundreds of thousands of Americans have experienced or witnessed a disastrous or life-threatening event. In addition to tragedies such as these, anyone who has experienced a shocking or dangerous incident (such as a car accident or a robbery) is at risk of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
PTSD is a serious mental disorder that requires medical treatment. PTSD can have devastating effects on every aspect of a person’s life, from their marriage and family, to their friendships and career. If you’re concerned that a loved one may be suffering from PTSD, here are some signs to look out for.
Reliving the Trauma
Someone with PTSD will have repeated, involuntary re-experiences of the event. They may experience bad dreams or flashbacks. They’re also vulnerable to certain triggers that remind them of what happened, such as sounds or smells.
Angry Outbursts
Someone silently suffering from trauma may be prone to anger, agitation, or sadness. Feeling irritable, the sufferer may be prone to outbursts of anger that they can’t control. If you’ve noticed your loved one frequently losing control and lashing out in anger, this is a sign that they’re suffering emotionally and require treatment.
Withdrawal
People suffering from PTSD will avoid people and situations that are reminders of the situation. As the victim continues to isolate themselves, how their friends and family react to their withdrawal will likely further isolate them, causing additional emotional distress.
Substance Abuse
It’s not uncommon for people with PTSD to self-medicate. Seeking an escape from high levels of stress and difficult emotions, they may turn to drugs or alcohol. The painful trademark of substance abuse is the growing need for more of the drug to produce the same high. If left untreated, as substance abuse grows, the abuse will turn to addiction and eventually dependence. This can have devastating effects on every facet of a person’s life.
If you’re concerned that a loved one is experiencing symptoms of trauma, the most important think you can do is encourage them to seek professional diagnosis and treatment as soon as possible. You can help by contacting offices and vetting therapists on their behalf, and volunteer to take them to an appointment. Assure them of your love and support throughout the process.
For additional guidance and recommendations from a licensed professional, call my office today.
According to Statista.com, coffee is still one of the most popular beverages among Americans of all ages. In fact, nearly half of young adults age 18-24 drink coffee. But by far, seniors are more likely to drink the delectable beverage and they tend to drink roughly three times as many cups as day as well! […]
According to Statista.com, coffee is still one of the most popular beverages among Americans of all ages. In fact, nearly half of young adults age 18-24 drink coffee. But by far, seniors are more likely to drink the delectable beverage and they tend to drink roughly three times as many cups as day as well!
Not only is coffee one of the most satisfying and beloved beverages around, but it also comes with a bit of controversy and mystery. There are those health experts that claim coffee is beneficial to your health and those that claim it is NOT beneficial to your health.
Of course, most of these claims have to do with the caffeine content in the coffee. So what is the truth about caffeine? Is it good or bad for us? Well, the answer is – it’s both!
Let’s take a deeper dive into the pros and cons of caffeine.
It Makes Us More Alert
Let’s take a look at the most obvious benefit people experience from drinking coffee and that is it does help to give us a jolt of energy and make us feel more alert and awake. Caffeine has also been shown to improve response time and accuracy. So there really is something to people saying, “I can’t even think until I’ve had my first cup of coffee!”
It Puts Us in a Better Mood
Beyond making us more alert, caffeine can actually perk up our mood and flood us with positive feelings. Health experts believe this positive impact on our mood is what gets most people hooked on caffeinated drinks.
May Improve Memory
While more human studies are necessary, caffeine has been shown to improve long-term memory. In fact, worldwide studies have found that moderate caffeine consumption reduces the risk of developing dementia and Alzheimer’s. In Finland, where coffee consumption is higher than anywhere else in the world, people have the lowest risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia.
Disruption of Normal Sleep Patterns
When we drink caffeinated beverages later in the day, they can interfere with us getting a good night’s sleep. This makes us feel sleepy the next day, which then makes us reach for more and more caffeine, and the vicious cycle continues.
Increased Production of Stress Hormones
Caffeine prompts our adrenal glands to produce more of the stress hormones norepinephrine, adrenaline, and cortisol. This is really bad because cortisol release contributes to both fatigue and insomnia.
On top of this, the increase of stress hormones in our bloodstream can cause us to have an exaggerated reaction to everyday stressful events. A traffic jam can send us reeling, as can our neighbor’s barking dog and a telemarketer calling at dinner.
Heart Health
Health researchers have found a link between the habitual use of caffeine and inflammation. Now when you combine this with caffeine’s tendency to raise blood pressure (thanks to those stress hormones!), you have an increased risk of developing cardiovascular disease.
Of course, how caffeine will affect you will have much to do with your own genetic makeup and how much you drink. Your best option when it comes to caffeine consumption is to use moderation and to monitor how caffeine makes you feel and go from there!
SOURCES:
How long has it been since you checked your Facebook page or Twitter account? If you’re like most people, you use social media many times throughout the day. But while you may think social media is fun, studies have suggested that it can take a toll on our emotions. One such study by researchers at […]
How long has it been since you checked your Facebook page or Twitter account? If you’re like most people, you use social media many times throughout the day.
But while you may think social media is fun, studies have suggested that it can take a toll on our emotions. One such study by researchers at the University of Missouri focused on the effects of Facebook on mental health. They discovered that regular use could lead to symptoms of depression if the site triggered feelings of envy in the user.
Professor Margaret Duffy, a co-author of the research, said about the findings, “If it is used as a way to size up one’s own accomplishments against others, it can have a negative effect.”
Other studies have revealed that most people tend to edit photos and only show the ones that make their lives seem more attractive to others.
It is this constant measuring of ourselves against others that causes unimaginable amounts of grief. I see it on an almost-daily basis. Decent people with much to offer feeling unworthy of happiness because they feel inferior to others. They walk into my office with what appears to be the weight of the world on their shoulders.
I have found much of this weight stems from not feeling as “good, smart, pretty, wealthy, or funny” as others.
If you are now wondering whether maybe your happiness has taken a hit from social media use, here are 5 signs it has:
1. You Need Positive Feedback to Feel Good
Let’s face it, we all love feeling appreciated. It feels good to get that positive feedback when you post a photo or event from your life. But if you find you only have good days on the days you are getting that positive feedback online, you may be depending on social media too much.
2. You’re an Instant Gratification Addict
We have become a society of people who seek out instant gratification. While it’s okay to want instant oats and instant movie streaming, having a need to instantly feel worthy and good through social media is very harmful.
If the promise of instant gratification is driving your desire to post or share bits of your life, you may have become too dependent.
3. You’re Reliving the Popularity Contests All Over Again
I find many of my adult clients care just as much about how many Facebook friends and likes they get as my teenage clients do. It’s as if the adults are reliving the high school popularity contests all over again. At the end of the day, are all of those Facebook friends reallyyour friend?
True happiness is having authentic connections with the loved ones in your life. If you’re paying too much attention to how many online friends you have and not enough on whether or not your face-to-face relationships are healthy, you may have a problem.
The next time you find yourself on your social media sites feeling jealous, envious, or somehow less than the people on those pages, remember that people tend to present very biased accounts of their lives. They, like you, want to measure up to the rest of the world.
Know that every human being is essentially struggling to feel worthy of being alive. It’s something we all seem to have in common. Instead of trying to be better than each other, let’s all instead try to have more compassion for each other.
If you or someone you know is having a hard time with self-worth issues and you’d like to speak to someone, please reach out to me. I’d love to discuss how I may be able to help.
The topic of self-care is one that has been discussed openly and often over the past decade. But for many, the concept of self-care is one that is still a bit mysterious, if not downright confusing. What Is Self-Care? First, self-care is a practice and a commitment we make to ourselves. It is any activity […]
The topic of self-care is one that has been discussed openly and often over the past decade. But for many, the concept of self-care is one that is still a bit mysterious, if not downright confusing.
First, self-care is a practice and a commitment we make to ourselves. It is any activity we do deliberately to support our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Not only does the right kind of self-care improve our health and life, but it can also improve the relationships we have with others.
Some examples of self-care might be:
Self-care isn’t always fun or easy, but you do it anyway because you know that the activity is what is BEST for you. In this way, self-care is a bit like acting as your own parent, making sure you do the things you don’t necessarily feel like doing because it is what your mind, body, and spirit need.
Self-care isn’t necessarily about making yourself feel better.
Person A has had a very bad day. They practice proper self-care and, when they get home, they change clothes, go for a 3-mile run, then cook a healthy dinner that refuels their body.
Person B has also had a very bad day and practices phony self-care. On their way home, person B stops at the store and gets a 6-pack of beer and a gallon of ice cream, then spends the entire night on the sofa drinking and eating poorly in an attempt to make the bad day go away.
This phony style of self-care is very immature. It is not parental but something a child does. If the parent insists you eat your veggies because they are good for you, the child will eat only candy bars when the parent isn’t looking.
Self-care is about making decisions based on what is good for you, not what you FEEL like doing at the moment.
Self-care should also not be confused with pampering. While there is nothing wrong with getting massages and pedicures, these again tend to be quick fixes we give ourselves to make ourselves feel better in the moment.
At the end of the day, self-care is a commitment to yourself to live, grow, and evolve in healthy ways. It means making choices that will lead to your best self and greatest potential.
SOURCES:
Meeting with a therapist for the first time can feel frightening and overwhelming. But there are ways to make starting counseling less intimidating. One of those ways is to make sure you’ve chosen a therapist who will be a good fit for you. Before committing to a regular schedule with a therapist, there are 4 […]
Meeting with a therapist for the first time can feel frightening and overwhelming. But there are ways to make starting counseling less intimidating. One of those ways is to make sure you’ve chosen a therapist who will be a good fit for you.
Before committing to a regular schedule with a therapist, there are 4 questions you should know the answers to. These questions can typically be answered in an initial phone or in-person consultation with your potential therapist.
Most therapists specialize in a particular kind of therapy such as CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), Gestalt, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Psychodynamic, or Family Systems. Each of these schools of thought will inform how that therapist works; how they personally believe change and growth occur.
For example, Psychodynamic therapists pay special attention to past relationships and behaviors to help understand current crises. EMDR is used to heal the symptoms of trauma.
It’s also important to understand how your therapist will work with you each week. Will you be assigned homework? What will be expected of you? If you’re seeking therapy for a specific problem, inquire how they would approach it.
If it’s important to you to be able to call, email or text your therapist with questions or concerns in-between sessions, ask what their policy is. Some therapists may only allow contact in case of emergency. If this is the case, you’ll want to be sure to ask what constitutes an emergency.
Some therapists may read email messages or listen to voicemails but will not respond, while others will reply or call you back.
Understanding your potential therapists policy for contact between sessions is essential to ensure you are both a good fit for each other.
Once you know what constitutes an emergency, you’ll want to know how they help you handle one. Some therapists will allow you to call them at home or at their office while others will use an answering service that will get a message to them. Still, others may ask you to all a crisis line or go to the hospital.
You wouldn’t hire a hairdresser to fix your leaky faucet, so why hire a therapist who doesn’t have experience treating people with issues similar to yours. Therapists often specialize in specific areas and become experts on that particular treatment. Don’t be afraid to ask this question to ensure you’re getting the best therapist for your needs.
If they don’t specialize in what you’re looking for, ask if they have any references that do. Often, therapists will refer you out anyway, if they feel that a colleague would be a better fit for you.
Finding the right therapist for you may take some time, but the search will be worthwhile.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help and answer any questions you may have.
If you believe the many rom-coms filmed throughout the years, singles are sad, miserable, and lonely people who sit around waiting for someone to come along and “complete them.” Why has this myth been perpetuated to such gargantuan proportions? Did you know that studies have found that single people usually have more active lives than […]
If you believe the many rom-coms filmed throughout the years, singles are sad, miserable, and lonely people who sit around waiting for someone to come along and “complete them.” Why has this myth been perpetuated to such gargantuan proportions?
Did you know that studies have found that single people usually have more active lives than married people? Single people are far more likely to go out, be involved in their communities and have more friends.
Sure, it can be terrific to spend your time with a loving partner, and yes, a frerquent and satisfying sex life ain’t bad either. But life doesn’t stop just because you’re single. You still exist and the world keeps spinning, so you might as well enjoy your life while waiting for the “right one to come along.”
If you’re new to the single life, fear not, you’re about to have the time of your life! Here are some ways you can love your single life.
Travel
Traveling is a great way to help you gain perspective and learn about yourself. If you’ve never traveled alone, it can be very rewarding. Plus, you don’t have to always compromise with another person. You can go where you want to go when you want to go. There is an incredible sense of freedom.
If you’re a single woman, traveling alone can be intimidating and feel a bit unsafe. There are plenty of traveling groups for women that allow you to be with others some of the time for safety, but also have time by yourself.
Focus on Advancing Your Career
You have more ‘you time’ right now, which makes it the perfect time to go back to school and get that degree that will help you advance your career. Many colleges and universities offer online curriculums to help working adults earn their degree. Night classes may also be a possibility and a chance for you to meet like-minded people on the same path as you.
Volunteer
Did you know studies have found that volunteering is good for our health and happiness? Helping others and ourselves at the same time, that’s a definite win/win. Plus, when you spend time in your community, you are able to meet people from all walks of life and expand your social connections.
Workout
Spend some ‘you time’ getting in the best shape of your life. Try a boxing class or yoga, or maybe take a dance class where you can get a great workout but also meet someone you might like to get to know better.
Reconnect
When we’re in relationships we often spend all our time with our significant other and relationships with friends and family take a back seat. Now is the time to reconnect with loved ones.
Living single is nothing to fear or reject. The single life can be one filled with friends, fun and plenty of fulfillment, so enjoy every second!
Traumatic events such as war, rape, and severe accidents can lead people to suffer from symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). What we have recently discovered is that any event that is experienced as threatening can generate PTSD-like symptoms and negatively affect a person’s quality of life. Somatic Experiencing® (SE™) was developed by psychologist Peter A. […]
Traumatic events such as war, rape, and severe accidents can lead people to suffer from symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). What we have recently discovered is that any event that is experienced as threatening can generate PTSD-like symptoms and negatively affect a person’s quality of life.
Somatic Experiencing® (SE™) was developed by psychologist Peter A. Levine to address the effects of trauma. Levine developed this modality after noticing that prey animals, whose lives are constantly under threat in their natural habitat, are able to recover quickly by releasing stressful energy accumulated during the event.
Human beings don’t have this same capability of processing trauma. We tend to override this natural way of regulating our nervous system and instead feel emotions like fear and shame. Somatic Experiencing helps people move past the trauma.
Somatic therapy combines psychotherapy with physical therapies to bring about the holistic – or whole-person – healing. This modality focuses on the mind-body connection and uses talk therapy along with physical therapy techniques to release pent-up tension in the body that is negatively impacting a person’s health and well-being.
Somatic therapy can be very beneficial to people who have suffered trauma or abuse, as well as people who suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, grief, and addiction. This technique can be used in individual and group settings and may prove effective when other traditional forms of treatment have not delivered results.
During a session, a therapist uses talk therapy to help their client revive past memories of traumatic experiences. The client then pays attention to any physical responses. Physical therapy techniques such as deep breathing, relaxation, and meditation are used to help relieve symptoms. Other adjunctive physical techniques that may be used with this therapy include yoga, dance, exercise, or other types of movement and massage.
Somatic therapy can easily be integrated into other counseling practices. You’ll want to begin by looking for a somatic therapist that is licensed and experienced in somatic therapy techniques. In addition to looking for someone with the right skills and background, it’s also important that you find someone you feel comfortable with.
Somatic experiencing is an excellent way of getting rid of what is stuck and holding you back from experiencing joy and peace in your life. If you’d like to explore this treatment approach, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy discussing how I may be able to help.
SOURCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201503/somatic-experiencing
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/somatic-therapy
https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-why-somatic-experiencing-works/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/somatic-experiencing
You have most likely heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – also known as PTSD. It is used to describe the mental and emotional anguish suffered by those who have experienced sudden trauma. PTSD is often experienced by soldiers as well as those who have been victims of rape and other crimes, and even […]
You have most likely heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – also known as PTSD. It is used to describe the mental and emotional anguish suffered by those who have experienced sudden trauma. PTSD is often experienced by soldiers as well as those who have been victims of rape and other crimes, and even victims of house fires and car accidents.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) describes a condition that very much presents like PTSD, the difference being the sufferer experienced prolonged periods of abuse or neglect. This could happen as a result of childhood neglect or the abuse suffered at the hands of a narcissistic partner.
Diagnosing C-PTSD is tricky because the symptoms are usually not very unique. That is to say, someone who is suffering from C-PTSD may be experiencing anxiety and lethargy, but these symptoms match other mental health issues.
But it is very important to accurately diagnose C-PTSD because of the necessary treatment measures. The main difference between C-PTSD and other mental health issues – say, bipolar disorder – is that C-PTSD is a result of things that were done TO an individual, and not an intrinsic problem. In other words, someone suffers from C-PTSD because of abuse and neglect at the hands of another and not because of genetically determined brain chemistry.
To help correctly identify C-PTSD, a therapist must uncover an accurate history to understand if:
As I just mentioned, the outward symptoms of C-PTSD may match other mental health disorders. Those symptoms include:
There are a few different treatment options for people suffering from C-PTSD:
Psychotherapy
Therapy can take place on a one-to-one basis or in a group setting. The focus will be on addressing feelings, improving connections with others, and dealing with anxiety and flashbacks. Many therapists have had success using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helping people cope with the symptoms of C-PTSD.
EMDR
EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. This is a process that uses eye movement to help a person desensitize their reactions to a specific traumatic event. The result is the person can eventually recall the memory but have no emotional reaction to it.
Medication
Some individuals may need to be on medications for a while to reduce their anxiety. A therapist can work with you to determine if this is the best course of action.
If you believe you are suffering from C-PTSD and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.